Good morning, Angels.
I'll be brief today (as much as possible for me) about what's happening. I hope I'm not becoming too big of an asshole, though I see the tendency sometimes. A gal at work came to me the other day, and said, "So, tell me about your treatments and everything." (her husband is a bladder cancer survivor) I retorted, abruptly as I recall, "Well, I haven't started them yet but when I do I don't think I'm going to be chatting about them like I'm talking about my Summer Vacation." I have similar reactions to both advice and horror stories of treatments people went through, seemingly designed to make me feel better but actually having the effect of starting a little 'horror movie' in my mind. I'm an artist; it's how my mind works. A blessing and a curse, you might say. But, enough preface; here's the latest:
I went to the medical oncologist yesterday and started setting things up. She is closely coordinating with the radiologist (Proton Therapy specialist, Dr. Gray) and I am now convinced that they are on exactly the same page. That was comforting, and I left the office in peace. As I said before, I'm on for the ride. The Most High is directing the show, but the players are good at their craft and I trust all of it.
I start Tuesday with the insertion of a port designed to keep me from becoming a "pincushion" (oncologist's words) and then Thursday commences the chemo. (low dose, to work in concert with the radiation) The following week begins the radiation. Some genuinely adept professionals at the oncologist's office are orchestrating the FMLA/LOA paperwork connection with my job's insurance carrier. So, it seems I can now take all of this pressure off my mind and just do what I need to do to hold the line and be strong. I guess you could say I'm in "Trusting Mode" now. I remain Grateful and Peace-loving. It' less painful that way.
Thanks for being there for me, and for 'listening'.
Love genuinely,
Ken
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