Angels, Friends, and Loved ones,
Mostly, I know that folks are receiving these emails. Some, due to time constraints, and the fact that not everyone checks their emails with any frequency, have not responded lately. Until yesterday, I just assumed it was the usual busy life we lead, and what I just mentioned until I found that some of my recent emails are going into certain peoples' SPAM boxes. I have nearly forty names on the BCC side of this list, and I fear that this one friend might not be the only one. So, please do me a favor, if you will, and respond with "Got It", "Received just now", or something like that. Those who don't will get a short direct (not pasted or copied) email telling them to check their SPAM folder, where my emails were shuttled off to in this recent incident. I think once an email program gets your name as a spammer, it rejects ALL mail from you. I didn't want that to go unnoticed.
So, the saga continues.
Last night, as I was preparing to shower, I got a hair in my mouth which is not uncommon. I usually pull it back nowadays in a ponytail that (for the first time in my life) is almost literally halfway to my ass, and occasionally hairs get free of the ponytail and brushing and an end floats into my eye or mouth. After attempting to sweep back a couple of these stragglers, I realized that they were no longer attached. The hairs had fallen out. This was something I'd heard about, regarding radiation, but still surprised me. So that's one new thing. As for the 'blip' I mentioned a time or two in previous emails, regarding emotions, I've noticed now that--although I'm actually very low-key, mellow, and relaxed lately--I am much more uncharacteristically emotional. I can cry at the drop of hat, or laugh similarly, for what appears to be no reason at all. Laughing at sadness, and crying with joy. Also, a tad odd. I just wanted to share that side of this "journey", since some find it as interesting (and amusing) as I do. Again, just Google "right temporal lobe function", or some such. I'm still reading about it since there were over 6,250,000 hits on that query.
Last night, around midnite, I set the alarm for 6 am, so as to leave plenty of time for the rush-hour drive to St. Thomas, but awoke at 2 am in pain, as usual. I get around two hours in a row, generally. Sometimes, that's it and I just take my OTC meds and push on through it. Today was that version. Laying on the table for the otherwise uneventful 15 minutes was nearly torture. I made it through without incident, save having to have a coughing spasm before we commenced, and then asked a few pertinent questions. One has been on my mind (and many of yours) for a while: "What is the main reason for Proton Radiation being put off for now, and does or will it interfere with the radiation I'm getting either now or perhaps even after the fact?" The radiologist gave me the definitive answer: The reason I'm getting two days off between these three treatments, is that this (very) high dose of radiation requires my body to be given time to recover from the effects. More of any type of radiation right now would be a very bad idea since the body would be taxed beyond reasonability. The healthy tissue in the brain, he mentioned, needs to recuperate from the radiosurgery, as pinpoint as it might be.
What this all tells me, is that my bullseye markings will not go to waste. I'll be more than likely getting the Proton Therapy and chemo that was halted at the last moment when they discovered the brain tumor. And, based on my pain and shortness of breath, I am actually hoping the sooner the better. These beautiful people are so bent on saving my life, that I feel that they have the exact same desire as I do. Get it done now! One more treatment to go, the day after Christmas, and I'll wager that I get called in for my first dose of chemo in my new portacath, which has thankfully healed enough where I barely notice it, much less find any discomfort with it.
Merry Christmas to all, and I'll be in touch after my Kwanza Day treatment.
Love and Blessings,
Ken
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