January 18, 2020 - Chapter 4, Part #3 Story of Ken

Dear Angels,

I know I'm delinquent in my updates and have many ways to apologize and explain, but I'm going to pass on attempting to be cute or clever and just say that pain, fatigue, and a general lack of motivation are all on the team of culprits. So, please forgive my reticence. 

The biggest thing I learned Thursday at the oncologist's office was that I haven't been listening as closely as I could and that not much has changed in their plan of attack. Cancer that has migrated far from its home base (my right lung) all the way to the brain (and likely beyond) signifies to The Team that the chemo needs to be stronger and more multifaceted (targeted, is one word that has been used) than what would be used in conjunction with radiation. (or, in my case and choice Proton Therapy) Currently, radiation is "off the table" for now. Apparently, its action is toxic to part of the chemo concoction that has been planned to commence on Thursday of this coming week. Cancer cells will now be chased down to the very perimeter of my body. Even the brain, which will be re-evaluated via PET or CT Scan by the Neuro-Radiologists on Feb. 6, is going to be treated as if there may be something there. It appears my team wishes to take no chances with this. 

I can't articulate how grateful and very touched I am at the show of support, good vibes, and prayers I receive and hear about. I think they play a part in the overall scheme of things. To be clear, I'm still submitted to the Oncology team that has assembled to save my life, and yield to their expertise and decisions as my "higher power", as it were. What also has not changed, is that I believe there is a MUCH higher power in whose hands all of this truly is. Fear, and other such emotions, are almost automatically and effortlessly recognized as the intruders that they are and rejected on the spot. It's a gift, for which I can say I'm truly grateful.

Wednesday, I go in for 'training' with the nurses to prepare me for the chemotherapy, and then an up-to-date CT Scan to see how this all has progressed since the detour created by the brain tumor, that has now been dealt with. Thursday begins the treatments. They say 4-5 hours, so I'm bringing one of the four books that have been started in the past five months but have been gathering dust.

I genuinely love you all, or your name would not be on the list of angels that I send these updates to.

Sincerely,

Grateful Ken