Friday, July 15, 2016

Some Call It "Dining"

Years ago, I wrote a column for our company newsletter called "Dining In Downers". It was a tongue in cheek report, marking my first foray into writing for a periodical. Currently, the only writing I do is letters and emails to friends. I stay in practice that way, and every so often I am moved to go to one of my blogs and add something.

Today, I was thinking about an email I wrote to a friend, regarding White Castle. I had just made a comment on a Facebook page that reminisces my old home town. I was remembering "Prince Castle", known for it's 'One In A Million' chocolate malts. Later it became Cock Robin, which in my opinion did not ever do justice to it's forebear. White Castle was not related, but had a similar theme to Prince Castle. One commentor confused the two, causing me to remember my email. Having located it, I cut and will now paste it here. I think it might include some "in" jargon, used by my friend and I for quite a few decades, but the message should come through:


So, I finally get around to visiting the new White Castle here near us. In short, a disappointment.

The smell is NOT the oniony aroma of old, as you walk in. Gone is the stark white tile, though, which was reasonable. A bright decor, but set up more like a fast food joint than the "deli" look of Yvonne's place of old. 

They now sport a whole "seafood" menu, ironically. I didn't notice mealglaze, per se, but they have a few meals including a shrimp fiesta of sorts. Myself, I just wanted a "one in a million" (silly me....that's PRINCE Castle) and a coupla burgers. I guess everyone is expanding their menus these days. Not for the better, in my opinion.

The onion yield was scant, but also oddly flavorless, as were the pickles. I suspect they soak them is the purest distilled water for weeks to insure the flavor and smell of those two items is totally non-existent. They accomplished that, in any case.

The "shake" (never shaken, but stirred mechanically---a little) was basically soft-serve ice cream. I pretty much made a dozen attempts to suck it thru a straw as I drove home, but to no avail. I got home and ate it with a spoon, except for the last few ounces which had melted from the heat of my hand.

So, there you have it. My first and last visit to the newer and not better slider depot. That's another thing, some ad-man probably made a bundle convincing the board of directors to just go with the term "sliders", which was likely the offhanded description by a couple stoners sometime in the past. They call them Sliders on the menu, now. It kinda gave me a creepy feeling, as if the menus behind the counter were festooned with dirty jokes. I mean, didn't "sliders" originally refer to the speed and way they shoot thru the alimentary canal and out the anus? 

I wanted to just slap somebody, but didn't have a clue who.


Translations are available on request. Just message me here.